Reflecting on The Recent Past

2016 was a dramatic year for many people.

For me, the negative years all preceded it. 2013-2015 were some of my life’s darkest points, in which I lost my closest family. With a different death occurring each consecutive year, I lost all three people that helped raise me: my maternal grandmother, father, and mother.

All during which, an almost decade-long marriage crumbled more with each passing death.
Shortly after my mother’s memorial, came the separation and subsequent divorce from my second wife.

It was a period of some major soul searching. I found myself living in my parent’s old home with my 2 dogs, Jack and Bailey. We were surrounded by a lifetime of memories, forgotten hobbies, and work to be done.

It was overwhelming. At times, it was downright claustrophobic. It was as if the house itself was smothering us with reminders of the past. In a way, the house constantly reenergized our grief. However, there was always a warmth and a joy to the place. An unrelenting brightness that had made it my parent’s dream home. They had designed so many elements with their own hands and it was their legacy to me, so I set to work. It took me the better part of 2015 through the summer of 2016 to really get it cleaned, renovated, and more reflective of my own personality, while still paying homage to my folks.

2015- 2016 brought a lot of people in and out of my life. I dealt with my grief and I finally made it to Europe and toured Copenhagen, Denmark, as well as Edinburgh, Scotland, UK. I had my fair share of bad luck too. Including discovering that both of my dogs had Cushings disease then followed by several months of expensive tests and treatments. Just when things were normalizing, Bailey tore his ACL and had to have orthopedic surgery. Despite some of these setbacks, my life changed 180 degrees when I met my person on August 1st 2016.

I was not ready to be in another committed relationship. After my divorce, I had steadily dated the same person for about 6 months, and while she was an awesome person and a good friend, I ended things in July 2016 because I had learned what I needed to be happy long-term. It was one of the few times were I left a relationship first, but I was glad I did, as just a few weeks later I met Teri on OkCupid.com and we began exchanging messages. The dating website had judged our compatibility at over 95%. For me, the INTP, that was uncommon.

For the fellow MBTI personality nerds out there, Teri is an ENFJ. The INTP+ENFJ match is believed to be one of most compatible matches for the two rare types. All of my weaknesses are her strengths and all of my strengths are her weaknesses. She is my mindmate. After several bad relationships, I can honestly say that she seems to be the first person outside of my family that understands me. We’ve been inseparable since we met and completely committed to each other’s happiness. There are no fights or hurtful words exchanged. Just love and support every day.
 

After taking a trip in the fall of 2016 to San Diego, Teri and I came back to find out that we were pregnant and expecting in May of 2017. Needless to say, we both were surprised. We were later told that it was going to be a girl, which we’ve named Rosslyn Grace Nicpon. For me, this has been the greatest single blessing of my entire life. While I wish that my parents and grandmother could have lived to meet my daughter, I intend to keep them alive, in memory, as we raise our daughter together. After a year of swearing I would never marry again, I proposed to Teri in our baby’s nursery this past February. She will make a great wife and mother, as she has already proven herself as loving partner, confidant, and companion. Jack and Bailey adore her and treat her as their dog mother and are fiercely protective.

While not all of my posts will be this personal, I wanted to share where I had come from and what life seemed to have in store for me next.